zeuge: of light & time

psst. let me tell you about the biggest con there is, viz. "it is what it is"

you couldn't possibly understand where I went, what happened to me. I went to places people aren't supposed to go. or at least, they aren't meant to come back from...

One of the most profoundly powerful & disturbing experiences I've had in "heightened awareness" is this confrontation with the phenomenological subject, the 'watcher'. 

I think this might be because this is one of, if not the most real ways in which we are divine. confrontation is here used somewhat loosely of course, as this seems essentially impossible, although one can take various 'postures' with respect to the watcher, such as in deep meditation, sort of watch the watcher from a certain angle if you will. this might be because it is not an object at all, but a black hole, a link to another dimension, etc.

"people don't know how to look at the back of their own eyelids"

- Terrence McKenna

Somewhere it is written: “In God We Trust”. The we that are me trust in myself. But what of all the other we’s out there? How do they feel? Who or What is their God? Thoth or the magnanimous Jesus, mayhems? Oh well. All I can tell is that something is there and that it changes. 

My body is not me but it passes in phases thrilling my nerves with never ending pulsating sensations. However in my mind the local is ever at the fore. Mercury, the moon just dots cycling in eternity as I pass these scenes. What, however, does it all mean - if anything? 

I guess only time will tell, but then again maybe we will have to speak that truth into the emptiness. Lines in space passing into infinity with three eyes pointed always at an ever distant triangle. Two ears, one mouth - listen twice before you speak. 

What is that smell that reminds me of… the force of what is not consciously perceived. Abandon all hope ye that enter here, ignorant of geometry. Without plan the trees split and divided into warring factions that may as well be one. Yet ye must eat! And whence from dost though eat but the tree of knowledge of good and evil. Cut down one tree and see only your good fortune spring fast upon thee. Never mind the past, cast your shadow before you as you spell out your life. 

The future is presaged in the past - the closer or larger a thing the less a/effect it has. Always the subtle determines things when it is a question of stability. Always on the knives’ edge of those lines passing through space, still spinning, dancing from one blade to another until those blades will sing, spinning around your central sun.

Throw yourselves off and into the poison paths - disequilibriate and find back your center. Off into infinity you stare at the back of your own head - you are looking into your own mind as the other stares back at you with cold demise. 

Vision, ether, is easy - it is hard to change the face of the body, your earth. Can you feel the strain against the staring pull? Ever downwards, it strives to reduce all to the primordial, undistinguished, one dead sea. Against gravity the force of life works itself out into the surrounding space where it might find new novelty for its amusement. 

To know gravity, is to know the nature of death. Feel the pull and push to and to not move. How do we move? Watch extensively, to see from and to where a thing will be. Not straight lines, but curves show their flowering faces.

If the mystery is true, and that which is within is like that which is without - then those planets tracing loops with the sun way out there have their internal representation correcting the native in its course. 

I am the center of the universe - their motions outside contend and conform to the motions within. They can be felt. Quite quiet. Turn off your tongues and listen merely to the sounds that spew forth from the skies as well as from our fellow beasts.

Smoking’ gun mirrors where is my end, I’m beginning again. Oh well, what’s one more round of beers when this is my friend? I suppose I’ll raise a glass to eternity at last, at least I’ll come back again until I escape that deadly grasp of this planet’s past. Give me a rifled path to freedom and I will ascend without wait to the bright above. No straight lines, He said. The form in our cells is spitting close to that of this space, no coincidence - make haste. 

Slowly, and without restraint.

"man is capable of evolving. The grand task of sorcerers is to bring forth the idea that, in order to evolve, man must first free his awareness from its bindings to the social order. Once awareness is free, intent will redirect it into a new evolutionary path."

"Do you think sorcerers will succeed in that task?"

"They have already succeeded. They themselves are the proof. To convince others of the value and import of evolving is another matter."

- Castaneda

the magician places herself firmly on the side of the future, thereby becoming invincible. these are not just mere words. there is a technique whereby one can defy gravity itself: cleanse oneself of the dross, the energetic deadweights holding them back from becoming all that they can be. thus do they become light enough to move with the waves of time itself, into the future

"what made human beings into sorcerers was their capacity to perceive energy directly as it flows in the universe"

- castaneda

castaneda's seeing is simply perceiving energy directly, which relates directly to surfaces & depths..Interiority as time & exteriority as space

the advanced adept has already destroyed the very concept of self, at least in their own experience. their revolution is not against a person or group, but against certain aspects of reality as such..

the default mode of (socialized) existence literally has no future. it is instead a dance with ghosts, a tired repetition of worn forms in which the future is not simply the unforeseen, but the impossible.

in order to live authentically one must instead have a detailed grasp of the energetic structures of their own life world, so that when novelty, a literally alien structure manifests itself, being a harbinger of the future itself as well as a sign of the changes to be expected therein, one is fully prepared and well able to grasp at it with both hands.

& to follow it.

into a new world...

'we don't know what a body can do'
- baruch spinoza, 17th c.

'we still don't know what a body can do'
- gilles deleuze, 20th c.

& the air, no, space itself shook, and something changed irreversibly

you can be the hero of your own picaresque novel

"You are having a taste of infinity. I know it, because I have been in your shoes. You want to run away, to plunge into something human, warm,
contradictory, stupid, who cares? You want to forget...But infinity won't
let you. It has gripped you in its merciless clutches."

- castaneda

through deep meditation & other methods of introversion, one can alter the very structure of time itself

in dreams, it seems, the magician can examine their life situation from multiple angles, not objectively per se but from different perspectives, which opens the door for them to make changes necessary to improve their life situation

priest(esse)s of a forgotten religion that existed before there was time 

the Timelords